• me: *wakes up*
  • me: wheres my phone
  • me: *rips off blankets*
  • me: *hears loud thud*
  • me: there it is
340,024 notes



i wanna date someone and live with them in a shitty apartment but be happy about it because we are happy together and we can decorate it with stupid dorky posters of shit we like and figurines and art and we can cook weird recipes we found on the internet and eat them and watch cartoons even if the food is gross because we made it and we’re perfect

446,929 notes


Dear Lord please inject me with Beyoncé’s work ethic and motivation amen

(via terribly-indecisive)

128,670 notes


i was sent to the school counselor after a teacher overheard me saying i had to murder all the other kids in the school with the same name as me so i could become the alpha

(Source: snarkys, via terribly-indecisive)

222,176 notes




why is my bedroom always so hot

maybe because it holds a portal to hell because satan himself thinks you’re a cutie and is reaching from the depths of hell to touch that booty

i love the science side of tumblr

(via terribly-indecisive)

326,868 notes

When you cry doggies immediately know something’s wrong and start sighing and if you sit down they gently cuddle you and lick away your tears until you start giggling and I think that’s one of the best things

0 notes